Drinking Tea
by scarlett-hued-shimako
Summary: After returning to the Rose Mansion after an exam, Youko finds an unseemly article of clothing in the meeting room and proceeds to interrogate all the Yamayuri members until she gets to the bottom of what exactly transpired while she was away. Crack fic


**A/N: Hi guys! It's been awhile, hasn't it? I wrote this sometime during the summer in an attempt to write something humorous, and hopefully it'll give you at least a chuckle. It's complete crack. Enjoy!**

**Drinking Tea**

Youko Mizuno sat slightly amused and slightly mortified at the head of the student council table as she waited for the other members to arrive. She languidly sipped her tea, not having had the patience to wait for one of the younger girls to make it for her.

School hadn't let yet to be over. While Youko would have been in class, she had an entrance exam earlier in the day on the other side of town. Having finished early, Youko decided to go back to Lillian to attend the student council meeting. Though she regretted her decision when she went to open the window and saw from the corner of her eyes a disturbing article of clothing underneath one of the chairs.

A pair of black panties.

After a disgusted shriek, Youko found a discarded pencil and used it to place the panties in a plastic bag. She didn't know the who, the what, the why, or the when but she was going to find out one-way or another. She was Rosa Chinensis after all, and she had a duty not to let such uncouth things go unpunished.

Especially when mixed in with such audacity.

She wondered what had happened and blushed faintly at the conclusion. Or the most likely conclusion. She didn't want to believe that any of the girls was audacious enough to engage in that sort of activity- in the Rose Mansion no less- but it seemed more and more like that was what happened.

Sei or perhaps Eriko seemed audacious enough to have sex in the Rose Mansion, but with whom? Youko entertained the idea that the two members could have been the culprits, but when images of Sei and Eriko pressed against each other entered her mind, Youko quickly removed the images from her thoughts, disgusted and slightly jealous.

She wanted to be the one pressed up against Sei.

Fifteen minutes after school let out, the rest of the student council members filed into the room. They were laughing and chatting happily, but noticing Youko's unpleased expression, their moods sobered as they took their seats, looking at each other in mild confusion.

Youko studied each of the girls, noting that they appeared normal. Maybe a little too normal.

It was Sei to break the tension first. "What's wrong Youko? You seem even more peeved than usual."

Youko set her tea down and folded her hands in front of her chest, giving pointed looks to each of the members. "Who has been in the Rose Mansion today?"

After exchanging baffled glances with each other, they all tentatively raised their hands. Youko inwardly groaned. Of course this wasn't going to be easy.

"Well, today's meeting is either going to be very long or very short. It depends on how honest we can be."

Receiving more perplexed stares from all around the room, Youko got her pencil and stuck it in the bag. A few moments later she held the black panties in the air, an accusing expression marring her features.

"Someone left this in here," Youko began, taking note of their disturbed faces. "If someone doesn't confess with a reasonable explanation, I'll have to assume the worst and interrogate all of you until I find the culprit."

Youko studied their faces. Yoshino, Yumi, and Shimako were beat red in embarrassment as they avoided making eye contact with everyone around them. Sachiko looked like a cross between disgusted and disapproving. Rei blushed as she stared at the table, trying so hard to keep her composure.

Of course, the two other Roses found it beyond amusing. Sei burst into a rambunctious laughter, a small look of pride adoring her features while Eriko giggled behind her hand.

As Youko continued to study all of their faces, what before came across as cautious expressions, their faces now adorned masks. These were the roses after all, and if their reputations were on the line, they would fight tooth and nail to preserve it.

Except Sei who really couldn't give a fuck and Yumi. Youko glanced at her grand little, whose complexion was scarlet considering the topic at hand. Youko internally sighed; she doubted it was Yumi. Though stranger things had happened.

"So," Eriko began as she tried to regain her composure. "You're suggesting that someone in the student council engaged in some pre-martial…activities?"

"Like naked leap frog?" Sei offered and received a smirk of approval from Eriko. Youko wanted to strangle them both.

"More or less. And is doesn't mean that someone brought someone outside the student council into the room to engage in this sort of activity. It could easily have been two student council members. Though we might be jumping to conclusions on the reason behind these discarded undergarments." Youko clarified.

"Where exactly did you find them?" Rei asked, a light blush covering her cheeks.

Youko pointed at the unoccupied seating on Yoshino's right. "On that seat."

Yoshino let out a small shriek and tried to move more to her left, but realizing she was sitting next to Eriko, Yoshino sat stone still in the middle, trying not to move at all.

"Oh," Rei let out. "Should one of the first years clean it?"

A slew of vehement no's and a soft 'I would rather not' were heard, and before anything else could happen, Youko called for attention.

"We can deal with the chair later. I want to figure out who's these belong to and why they were on that chair to begin with."

"And why do you get to decide?"

Youko glared at Sei. "Because I'm the only one who hasn't been in the Rose Mansion today, and after we spent yesterday cleaning and my being the last one to leave the room, I can assure you that it had to happen to today."

Sei let out a long whistle as she leaned on the back of her chair.

"So, we can assume this happened today. It seems the easiest route is to check each one of us to see if we're wearing panties, and I, being the dutiful Rosa Gigantea, take it upon myself to accomplish this task."

"And who's going to check if you are wearing panties?" Sachiko asked coldly from her seat across from the White Rose.

Sei winked at Sachiko as she grinned suggestively. "Are you offering Sa-chan?"

Caught off guard, Sachiko quickly composed herself and glared at Sei, ready to rip into her. Before she could, Yumi placed her hand on Sachiko's hand, calming the older girl instantly. Youko watched with mild interest, filing it away for future reference.

"Onee-sama," Shimako chastised, but like everyone else at the table, she tried to hide her laughter. Sei winked at her petite soeur.

"There will be none of that Sei. We need to have at least some decorum." Youko chastised. "Unlike the person who decided to christen this room."

"And how are you going to do that?"

Youko looked at Yoshino. "By any means necessary."

Though in actuality, Youko had no clue. There was only so much she could with intimidation.

"Okay," Youko began. "Who wants to go first?"

Not seeing any takers, Rei hesitantly raised her hand. "I was here after Kendo practice this morning. It ended early so I decided to stop by and do some work before class."

"And were you here with any one?" Youko pressed.

"I came with the Kendo club's head of social affairs to see if the space was big enough to host the end of the year Kendo party like I had mentioned to you last week."

"Wait," Yumi interrupted. "Isn't the head Chisato-san? I heard her mention it to someone in class the other day."

Rei gave Yumi a pointed look before turning back to Youko. "Chisato-san is the head of social affairs."

"You were with Chisato-san?! Alone?! How could you not tell me?" Yoshino yelled as she pointed at Rei, a vain protruding slightly from her neck.

"Because of this! I didn't want you to be upset by it. Or worst, spy on us." Rei retorted.

"Wasn't Chisato-san the girl you went on the Valentines half-date with?" Eriko asked for clarification. At Rei's nod of conformation, Eriko continued, "She's a cute girl."

After a slight shake of the table and a slight grimace on Eriko's face followed by a glare in Yoshino's direction, Youko concluded that Yoshino may or may not have kicked Eriko under the table.

"And all you did was show her the room?" Youko interrogated.

"We had some tea as well-Ouch!"

Youko looked at Yoshino's smug face and Rei's pain filled one. Yoshino had definitely kicked Rei.

"Anyway, when I was leaving I saw Sachiko and Kashiwagi-san walking towards the Rose Mansion." Rei started, trying to get the attention away from her. While everyone turned wide-eyes towards Sachiko, Yoshino continued to glare at Rei. Rei sighed, missing Sachiko's glare.

Sachiko cleared her throat and addressed Youko. "Suguru and I were here briefly in the morning. He drove me to school since I was running late, and then since he wouldn't stop pestering me, I made him tea before he had to go to class." Sachiko clarified. Youko watched with amusement as Yumi listened to Sachiko with the tiniest bit of jealousy.

"Getting ready for the honeymoon I see." Sei teased.

Sachiko glared daggers at Sei. "I don't like what you're insinuating. He wanted to discuss with me about where he wanted to go to college and that was it."

Youko leaned back in her chair, sighing quietly before addressing the group. "Okay, did anyone else stop by in the morning?"

"I was here with Yumi-chan in the morning with the camera girl." Eriko offered.

"Tsutako-san?" Shimako asked.

"That's the one."

"And what we're the three of you doing?" Youko asked.

"Tsutako-san was giving me the negatives from the 'Eriko is a prostitute' fiasco awhile back. We had tea and chatted, though I did leave Tsutako-san and Yumi-chan alone for awhile to get something from downstairs." Eriko ended with a wink in Yumi's direction.

Yumi turned bright red as her hands moved frantically in front of her. "Nothing happened! We just drank tea, I swear."

"I'm starting to think drinking tea is a euphemism for sex." Yoshino declared, earning nods of agreement from Sei and Shimako, though the latter with a blush to her cheeks.

"Yumi-chan, I didn't know you had it in you." Sei congratulated with a thumbs up. If possible, Yumi blushed even further, "I didn't-"

"I'll tolerate being interrogated, but I won't stand back and allow you all to harass my petite soeur." Sachiko threatened.

Youko watched as Sachiko placed a possessive hand on top of Yumi's, holding it firmly and setting it on her lap.

Interesting…

"I'm not here to harass anyone I just want to get to the bottom of this." Youko announced.

"Yoshino-san and I had lunch here in the afternoon." Shimako offered after a brief lull.

Yoshino nodded in agreement. "Yes, and Shizuka-sama stopped by to pick up the instrument she let us borrow for the third year's graduation party, but neither of us had tea with her." Yoshino remarked, a burst of laughter sounding throughout the room.

"I think." Yoshino clarified as she scrutinized Shimako. "I did leave them together because I had left my bento in my classroom. And when I came back, Shimako-san did look a little flush and then Shizuka-sama left with a smile on her face."

Gasps were heard throughout the room, and Youko briefly felt sorry for the younger girl who looked absolutely petrified.

"I probably would have too if I had the chance." Yoshino remarked. Noticing everyone's perplexed stares, Yoshino rolled her eyes. "I have eyes. Sex on a stick that Shizuka Kanina."

Sei nodded in agreement. Shimako looked like she wanted to kick her.

"What Yoshino-san walked in on was the tail end of an inappropriate question." Shimako explained, her shoulders set in determination despite the mortification she felt.

"Oh, and what was it?" Yoshino pressed.

Shimako, if possible, glared at the future yellow rose. "Since it wasn't 'do you want me to eat you out on top of this table?' I doubt it needs to be said in this conversation." Shimako snapped.

Silence.

And then after a few timely ticks and tocks, Eriko and Rei burst into laughter. Everyone else look bewildered and a little worried at the younger girl's crude remarks, including Sei. Youko thought that perhaps Shimako was spending too much time with her Onee-sama.

Shimako covered her face in humiliation. Youko worried she was about to faint.

"Shimako, you don't have to tell us if you don't want to." Youko said, hoping to comfort the future white rose. Shimako shot her a look of gratitude before something dawned on her.

Youko watched with interest as Shimako turned to Yoshino.

"When we were walking up the stairs before lunch, you said you had left a book in the meeting room in the morning, yet you didn't mention it when Rosa Chinensis asked. Why is that?"

Yoshino looked caught, and Rei shot her little sister an exacerbated look, which Youko noticed. Was it the two of them? Youko stared at Yoshino as the younger girl began to shift uncomfortably in her seat, enjoying the fact that she still had the power to make people squirm.

"It was so insignificant that I forgot to mention it." Yoshino remarked, trying to be as blasé as possibly. She closed her eyes as she sipped her tea, even though the reddening tips of her ears gave her away to everyone in the room.

Ignoring Yoshino, Youko turned to Rei. "She was with you wasn't she."

It wasn't a question.

Putting up her best Kendo face, fierce and determined, Rei nodded yes. "She was with me this morning."

"And pray tell why this information was kept as a secret?" Noticing Yoshino open her mouth with a mischievous glint in her eyes, Youko sighed while rubbing her temples. "And let's please refrain from using such colorful language liked Shimako used earlier."

"It's a family matter and should be left at that." Yoshino stated rather haughtily, believing that was enough to get her by.

"We can tell them Yoshino," Rei soothed. The yellow roses stared at each other, having a conversation with their eyes that no one could understand, and then Yoshino huffed and turned away from Rei, and in that movement, Youko knew that 'Baka' must have been included somewhere in there.

"Yoshino wanted advice on what to give Onee-sama for graduation." Rei remarked.

"That's it?" Sei asked, visibly disappointed in the lack hedonism in the truth.

Rei nodded her head.

"What's so bad about that?" Yumi asked in confusion.

"AW, YOSHINO-CHAN CARES ABOUT ME!" Eriko shouted as she wrapped an arm around Yoshino's shoulders, much to the younger girl's chagrin.

"No, I don't! I just thought I should give you something as a curiosity." Yoshino replied as she struggled to get out of Eriko's hold.

"And here I thought you always despised me, but now I find out, you admire me enough to give a graduation present. Oh happy days!" Eriko beamed.

Yoshino glared at Rei, who looked at her soeur in equal parts happiness and worry. Everyone else offered small chuckles and snickers.

"Fine, we'll allow that for now." Youko remarked.

"Wait, now that I think about it, Yumi-chan was in the Rose Mansion before I got there." Eriko stated. "And considering the timeframe that was around the time Sachiko was there."

Sachiko retained her cool exterior, but Yumi could never hide her emotions. The younger girl let out a squawk. Caught.

Youko watched the duo in suppressed amusement.

"Sachiko I expected better of you than to take your petite soeur in the Rose

Mansion" Youko stated rather crudely, wanting to get a rise out of Sachiko.

"I did no such thing Onee-sama!" Sachiko snapped.

"Sachiko-sama would never do that. All we did was kiss a bit." Yumi defended, but quickly realizing what she said, she looked at Sachiko, who looked slightly mortified, and quietly hung her head in shame.

"Good for you, Yumi-chan. I always knew you were a heartbreaker."

Sachiko shot a glare at the white rose.

"It happened on accident. The conversation with Suguru had left me unnerved and then Yumi came and comforted me and before we knew it we kissed. But that's it, and the reason we didn't say anything is because some things should be left private." Sachiko almost spat the last part out.

Yumi took this time to try to regain her composure and get revenge on Eriko. "I left you alone with Tsutako-san. What's to say it wasn't you and her?"

Eriko looked at Yumi rather skeptically. "You mean the fifteen seconds it took for you to find the notes you dropped outside the door? Yeah, Tsutako-san and I got really hot and heavy during that time."

Yumi deflated again. Eriko dramatically sighed. "I guess its time to confess though."

After the gasps erupted throughout the room and an accusing 'I knew it' from Yoshino quieted, Eriko looked rather solemn.

"After Tsutako-san left, Yumi-chan and I spent the rest of the morning alone. One thing led to another, and we were overcome with desire. You were right Sei, Yumi-chan's body is quite soft." Eriko sipped her tea, ignoring the dinosaur like shriek that sounded throughout the room.

Yumi shot out of her chair. "She's lying Rosa Chinensis!"

"That much is obvious. Eriko can you please refrain from causing trouble?" Youko asked rather dryly.

"I'll see what I can do."

"After Shizuka-sama left, you stopped by." Yoshino remembered pointing a finger at Eriko.

"Oh right I did." Eriko agreed. "I guess it was so insignificant that I forgot to comment on it."

Ignoring Eriko's comment, Yoshino continued.

"And I left you alone with Shimako-san." Yoshino accused, watching Shimako with cat-slitted eyes.

"Oh, maybe it was Shimako. All I remember was that it was a brunette. How did I so eloquently seduce you again? 'Would you like me to eat you out on top of the table?"

Shimako blushed as she covered her face, mumbling something about joining the convent early.

"That's enough," Sei barked at Eriko. "If Sachiko can demand that we don't harass Yumi-chan, then I can demand that we won't harass Shimako either."

Youko rolled her eyes. "Fine, Eriko please stop harassing Shimako."

"But I left you alone with Rosa Foetida as well Yoshino-san. Maybe both of you finally decided to do something about the tension between the two of you."

"God, Shimako! Why did you have to put that image in my head?!" Rei groaned as she covered her face.

"Why did you even say that?!" Both Yoshino and Eriko shouted simultaneously. They looked at each other before looking away in disgust.

Youko laughed for the first time during the whole interrogation. She heard Sei laugh as well along with Sachiko and Yumi, who were how bashfully holding hands which reminded her…

"When did you come to the Rose Mansion?" Youko directed at Sei.

"I came during lunch, but I never did go upstairs." Sei commented lightly.

"And why didn't you go upstairs?" Youko inquired further.

"I don't want to discuss it, but it didn't involve-"

"Please, nobody ever repeat what Shimako said ever again." Youko practically groaned. "Now Sei, why didn't you go upstairs."

Sei looked exasperated. "Because I needed to get a hat from the storage closet."

"Why?" it was Yoshino who asked.

Sei shot her glare. "Does it matter?"

"Answer the question Sei." Youko commented.

Sei sighed. "Because I remember my Onee-sama once made a doll outfit for a medieval presentation, and I thought Goronta would look good in the hat."

"The cat?" Rei further inquired, failing to keep her amusement in check.

"Yes, the cat."

"So, Sei actually did get some pus-"

"Eriko, I'm this close to kicking you out of this meeting!" Youko warned as the rest of the group burst into laughter.

"So, you dressed up Goronta?" Yumi asked, failing to keep her giggles from slipping from her mouth.

"I did, and I don't know why I'm getting so much flack for it." Sei huffed, crossing her arms like a perturbed child.

Youko looked out the window, internally sighing as she realized it was getting dark.

"Since it's getting late, we'll end this meeting, but if it ever happens, everyone is going to pay for it."

After a few moments of silence, the Yamayuri members collected their things and began to leave, silently and a bit disjointed.

Youko cradled her head between her hands as everyone filed out. Eriko lingered behind and gave her friend a sympathetic pat on the back.

"It's okay Youko. You can't win them all."

"But at this point, I just want to know who it was." Youko pouted.

Eriko gave her another pat on the back before grabbing the panty bag and saying "thanks for looking out for these. I've been looking for them all day."

Youko glared at her and resisted the urge to strangle her long time friend, even though Eriko's Cheshire grin made it difficult to do so.

"Next time you pull a stunt like this, I will personally strangle you." Youko growled.

"Noted." Eriko commented nonchalantly. She offered Youko a brilliant smile. "Could I walk you out?"

Reluctantly nodding her head, Youko sighed, hand running through her tresses. She would not be missing this when she left for college.

"Sure."

As they walked out of the Rose Mansion, Youko asked "When? With who?"

Eriko smirked. "Ladies never kiss and tell."

Youko blanched.

"But you did more than kiss."

Eriko smiled enigmatically as she took the lead, walking towards Lillian's gate, with Youko glaring at her from behind.

The next day, Youko and Sei found themselves drinking tea during lunch and only drinking tea. It seemed everyone else had been avoiding the meeting room for obvious reasons.

"So, did you ever figure out who it was?" Sei asked, rather knowingly.

"You know this whole time?" Youko asked flabbergasted.

"I did, but I didn't want her to be exposed to the whole council."

Youko nodded. "I was surprised and I wasn't surprised. She was basically throwing it in our faces."

"Really? I didn't think Shimako was being obvious at all. If it wasn't for the scared look she gave me when Yoshino-chan mentioned Shizuka-san I would have never know."

"Shimako?" Youko asked, her eyes growing larger.

"Yeah, she wouldn't have blushed unless she actually did something." Noticing Youko's shocked look, Sei bit her lip. "Isn't that who- wait, you didn't know it was Shimako."

"I did know that the panties were Eriko's. She claimed them once everyone left."

"No," Sei breathed, scandalized.

After a few more disbelieving no's from Sei, Youko began to laugh despite Sei's distress.

"It was Shimako and Eriko then?" Youko commented when she regained her composure. "They were the ones who had sex in this room? The girl who proposed to a man in the principle's office and the girl who wanted to be a nun got it on this very table. What a very strange world."

Youko had so many questions. Like when and how? But she knew that as much as wanted to, she would probably never get any answers. _"Ladies never kiss and tell," _Youko recalled with an eye roll.

"Eriko has been desecrating my petite soeur this whole time?" Sei yelled as she slammed her teacup back onto the saucer.

"I thought you would take on a whole hands off approach with this." Youko observed, rather amused.

"I would have, but it's Eriko! Hell, I thought it was Shizuka-san, and I would have given Shimako a high-five the next time I saw her, but this? Despicable."

Youko watched Sei pace the room, cursing Eriko, and though she wanted to strangle both Eriko and Shimako for the trouble they caused her, in the back of her mind, she rather enjoyed this final escapade before graduation, and though she didn't the context of their relationship, Youko wished them well.

On the other side of Lillian, secluded from their peers, Eriko had her lips attached to Shimako's neck, her hand caressing the younger girl's thigh.

"We can't Rosa Foetida." Shimako pleaded, though her resolved faded when Eriko nipped a rather sensitive spot. "Especially with what happened yesterday."

"Fine," Eriko agreed as she pulled away from Shimako's neck and removed her hand from underneath the younger girl's skirt.

Shimako moved herself from Eriko's lap and sat next to her on the bench, trying and failing to remove the wrinkles from her skirt and the kinks out of her hair.

"That was something else wasn't it?" Eriko commented in awe, lightly stroking her chin.

Shimako rolled her eyes, fixing Eriko's trademark headband and bow in the process. "You could have warned me that you were going to interrogate me during that trial."

"Hey," Eriko began in defense. "I didn't know it was going to happen. Besides I wasn't the one who ate me out in the meeting room."

Shimako groaned, as she hid her face in the crook of Eriko's neck. "Please don't start. Yesterday gave me enough mortification for the rest of my life."

Eriko laughed as she wrapped an arm around Shimako's waist, placing a small kiss on the younger girl's forehead. "I still can't believe we did that though."

"I can't believe you forgot your underwear."

"It wasn't my fault Yoshino came earlier than expected!" Eriko countered.

Shimako chuckled in amusement before placing a chaste kiss on Eriko's neck.

"Wait, what did Shizuka-san say to you?" Eriko asked.

"She said we should lock the door next time we decide to make out in the choir room during my cleaning time."

"Noted, next time we'll just drink tea."

Shimako rolled her eyes again. "You're rather insatiable, aren't you?"

Eriko laughed. "I rather like tea."

**FIN**


End file.
